Buying Eggs at the Doorstep

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Buying Eggs at the Doorstep by Andy Buhler, CUSO, 69-71

I’m just sitting here enjoying a nice pot of tea and belching from a lunch of curried scrambled eggs. I added curry because I can’t trust even the good-looking eggs. Last week when Hannes was here we threw out six eggs in various stages of chickenization before we got three edible ones.

The egg man was here again today so I did much explaining that I threw away three eggs two weeks ago and six this week.

“Sorry sir, how many you buy today?”

“None if they are not good.”

“You want two dozen master?”

“No. I still have one dozen.”

“OK Master, dozen and a half?”

“No. I want one dozen and no bad ones.”

He sighs, “OK bring water.”

So he dumps in some eggs and I skim off the floaters to give back, then the ones slowly rising, and finally there are about 12 that stay near the bottom of the bucket of water so I take those.

“How much you pay?”

“Same as always two shillings a dozen.”

“Hubbah Master! -- Three shillings!” and his friend is still doubled up at the thought of only two shillings. (This increase is after I explained six times that I’m just throwing away my money buying bad eggs).

Haggle, haggle, haggle.

“Three shillings -- finish!”

“OK, take your eggs away. I don’t want any today.”

“Kawo kudi -- Bring money. Two shillings.”

He looks incredulously at the coins and says “Gimme dash -- 6d Master.”

About then I told him I’d dash the eggs over his head so he left.

Next week he’ll be back again and tell me they are four shillings a dozen -- “Very fine eggs. No bad ones.” but I’ll be ready. I’m going to save all the bad eggs I find in a jar and give them to him in exchange for some new eggs.

We’ll see how he takes that!!

I got the jar all ready today and broke four eggs for lunch -- all were good. That’s just not fair, is it?

Postscript: I had to find a new egg man shortly afterward because the first man got around my water screen process. He started to make small holes in the ends of his eggs so that they all sank and appeared to be good.

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